hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
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kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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