So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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