i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
