I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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