and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
