If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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