All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Damn victory sex feels great
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
