dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Dry spell is over and now Iβm drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
Itβs a glorious dick miracle!
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