No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is classic penis vs brain.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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