So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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