So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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