The maid of honor just puked.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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