my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
