So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
