In the future we'll all be gay
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
please don't ironically join a cult
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