You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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