Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
