After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
