worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize