just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
