yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
