my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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