The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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