i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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