i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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