Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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