i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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