the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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