do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
