the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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