oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
