i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize