So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
