just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
