Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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