I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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