What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
