no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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