Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
