I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
