In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
did you just send me my own nude
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
