Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
