Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
