hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
