dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
