You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
