I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just found puke in my bra..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize