Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
