Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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