I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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