Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
