when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
