I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
