I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
