I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
