too bad you live with your parents still
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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