And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
