We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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