Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
being pregnant is like rehab
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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