Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
