Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
