So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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